A forgotten name or misplaced object is not enough to diagnose dementia. What matters is the pattern: what has changed for this person, whether it keeps happening, and how it affects daily activities. Persistent concerns deserve a medical assessment rather than a family debate about whether someone is “just getting older.”
Notice changes in everyday life
Examples worth discussing include repeated difficulty following familiar tasks, becoming lost in a known place, frequent repetition without remembering earlier conversations, changes in judgement, and problems finding or understanding words. These are observations to report, not a test with a passing score. Other conditions may contribute to similar difficulties.
Separate gradual change from sudden confusion
Sudden confusion needs urgent medical attention, including in someone already living with dementia. Do not assume a rapid change is the expected progression of the disease. In Canada, call 911 for sudden severe confusion or an immediate medical emergency. Stay with the person if safe and follow the dispatcher's instructions.
Write observations that help
“Dad is getting worse” is understandable but difficult to act on. A more useful note is: “On Tuesday he could not find the usual grocery store and called for help; this has happened twice this month.” Include when it began, what the person was trying to do, and any practical consequence. Separate what you saw from what someone else reported.
Use a small number of examples. Repeatedly quizzing a person, filming them without agreement or trying to prove that they are wrong can undermine trust. The point is to support an assessment, not win an argument.
Start a respectful conversation
Choose a quiet time and describe your concern without assigning a diagnosis. You might say: “You mentioned that keeping track of appointments has been frustrating. Would it help if I came with you to talk about it?” Offer practical help such as transport or note-taking, and ask what would feel useful.
If the person does not want help, avoid escalating a disagreement. Ask their clinic how a family member can share concerns appropriately. A clinician may be able to receive information even when privacy rules limit what they can tell you in return; ask the clinic about its process.
Before the visit
Bring relevant examples, an up-to-date medicine list and the person’s questions. Mention changes in sleep, mood, hearing, vision or general health. The appointment worksheet provides space for these notes and a place to record the follow-up plan.
Sources & further reading
These references support the educational background. Worksheets, planning examples and comparison questions are our own practical suggestions.
Information checked for this edition on 12 September 2026. Service details and medical guidance can change; confirm individual decisions with the appropriate professional.
